candid.

today i spent my breaks running around the void deck, and then we played frisbee for pe!
if only school was this happy every day.

tmr: hotcakes happy meal with my mum :D (note: free toy with every meal!)
sunday: possible meetup with the sec schl people
tuesday: half-priced waffles at gelare with dearie jessica!

noel said this when we were discussing strategies for frisbee! super funny.
'jessie, you can go mark darren. either you charm him, or you scare him.'
inside joke inside joke.

okay gtg. i love you all!
andandand.
MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING IN EIGHT DAYS! ((((: you know what to do now!

study bloooooooooes.

sometimes it's easy to talk and talk non-stop.
but sometimes, the words just don't come out at all.

i feel very bothered if i don't exercise at least once in 3 days. but i feel like i'll lose out on a lot of study time if i do go exercise eventually. this is crrrrrrrrazy.

新不了情

i like that song! it's very emotionally rich. i think my dream will be to be able to emote songs properly, like i was telling scrawny goh today. she still hasn't deleted the song i sang i recorded using her mp3! damn cool :D

anyway, school's happy, but lessons suck. grrr.

:/ note to self: study!

jane shilton.

today i spotted 5 +2 familiar faces! alina eow, this j1 ac-nh junior, enli, qiwei, kelvin! and some guy who acted in growing up, plus a celebrity hair stylist. that makes 5 +2, doesn't it? heh heh. anyway my parents and i went to the shops at raffles hotel arcade for fun. actually we only visited the louis vuitton shop. oh my tian it was really an eye opener, as in the people there shop like free! i mean, one bag's about 6000bucks at the very least, and they don't buy only one. that's crazy! maybe horrifying will be a better word :O went to library to read gp stuff after scouring the whole of raffles city, while my parents went home to rest. and then of course i met them for dinner. that was when something super embarrassing happened. i literally buried my face into my hands and couldn't react for ages. sheesh, maybe i need to be a little brighter D: but anyway after seeing so many people at westmall i finally conclude that bukit batok's no longer an ulufied place according to goh hui zhen (:

I WILL/MUST STUDY TMR.

love's a surprise.

we took our height and weight on friday. i swear i saw the needle move at the speed of light. it wasn't THAT bad because i didn't weigh 1000000 tonnes like i imagined, but what made me more !@&*# was that apart from ting and terri chia, stupid jieli found out my weight too! rawrh. i wonder why he keeps appearing in front of me all of a sudden. so, friday was all about fats, with ben and sam my wonderful ex-classmates attacking my softest spot, health talk about dieting, and height&weight taking.

anyway my tongue ulcer's here to stay i'm afraid. it's been a week and it's not gone yet! ))): for an entire week i've been forgoing food in school because the ulcer hurt so much. okay things aren't that bad yet but i haven't been eating enough and that's bad for health because my body will just expand instead. hi fatty bom bom.

and listen, venezia is a sham with all the diet-friendly rubbish because the high sugar content just makes up for what's missing. talk about 99& fat-free and what not.

okay i should go do my tutorial now! and put the annoying powder on my ulcer, then scream silently in pain. byeeee.


love always catches us by surprise.

to my go-to-school-tgt buddy (:

(WANGXIAOJIE! hello babe, this entry's just for you!)

school was such a chore, but after school was good (: after all the gripes and whining about school, i had as nice little chilling out session with my favouritest wangxiaojie at our most frequented hangout during the nanhua days- clementi! teehee (: though it was scorching hot, and we got tsk-ed by an aunty by sitting in macs drinking sweettalk, it was nice just rubbishing around and visiting random shops in clementi :D and what added on to the nostalgy was seeing mr fok around too! haha i instantly recalled the days of us girls having the tiniest crush on him and wailing when he had to leave. those were the days! -.- we should have more of such after school de-stress activities okay, hottie? i really mean it laaaaaaa (:

thank God for friends, who make what lies behind the big blue gates a livelier, happier place!

forty nine.

1. stop eating.
2. stop being a bag of lazy bones.

many many resolutions. they say there are only 49 days left to prelims. -cues freaking out.

don't you just love stitch?

today was just, AWESOME ((: i sneaked out of the house to attend service! it felt so good, so right to be back, singing and praising God, that i just burst into the tears the moment i entered the sanctuary. i'm contented, and it indeed paves the way to a good start of the new term feeling renewed and rejuvenated :D ♥ ♥ ♥ BPMC! yes, the day will come!

ANYWAY, i'm quite interested in joining the Shape run held some time in september! there's a choice between 5km and 10km and the goodie bag is quite attractive. (heh heh) i'll go ask around in schl for equally interested people tmr! teehee.

gtg iron my uniform! can't wait, actually, for schl, speaking of which, songxuan reminded me of chapel in school! which made me majorly happy haha. had a little chat with her after service. warms my heart, alot! thank you.

putting stefanie sun's album on loop now! see, i'm a cheenapok at heart :3

i'l learn to love you more than ever.

sniffles!

i'm becoming round and jolly like a beach ball! haha been eating ALOT more than alot.

i hate to think that within a week (and a few more days) i'm gonna surrender half of my life to school, another one quarter to ironing clothes and all the works, and the last quarter to rushing out tutorials ):

meanwhile, savour the present! (but please take away my zit!!)

ive an awful zit.

it's a nice day if you wake up in disneyland (:

i can go crazy.

it's not a nice feeling.

girls' night out!

allergy eeeks

i thereby proclaim that im allergic to a certain species of bald creatures called: the army boys. nothing good happens when i see them; my luck just drops in proportion to the size of population i encounter. GRRRR.

): off to dinner and back to books! croak.

heavy heart no more

the red envelope

my heart feels so heavy whenever i think about it,
sometimes i just feel like giving up.
im going so far away, too far away,
out of reach.

theredenvelope.

ps. im still happy! just.. worrying.

♥♥♥

good day, y'all!
i'm going on fine, hope it's the same for you too!
june's not so emo anymore! (:

anyway, take my test! http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/483155

haha i spent my whole day (almost) with enli today!
shopping killed my/our feet. as in, really! screw heels. haha but it was still happy and nice! :D it's been so long since i last had such a nice shopping trip! (minus the malfunctioning escalator, the heartstopping jaywalking, AND THE HUGE CROWD)
and then there's the UAN HAHA.
anyway superdog is really good. aiyar i cant rmbr the name but anw it's like this place at vivo that sells hotdogs and super yum burgers! it was so filling and tasty :D food, oh food. it's my only #1 LOVE.
i cant say enough how well-spent this vesak day holiday is. (on top of the school hols) ENLI LET'S DO IT AGAIN, BUT MAYBE WE CAN MUG FIRST? :D
love plenty girl! I AM SO HAPPY TODAY FOR YOU, I AM SO HAPPY TODAY FOR MYSELF, I AM SO HAPPY TODAY.

it's been a while!

today i feel like im trapped in a lost world and i shldn't be here, where all the hearts and loveydovey reside.
byebye!

Y this holidays.

class outing: flying kites!
shopping w enli ((((:
visit tingting and her yoggi (and hopefully get to eat her banana muffins)
perfect my own baking skillz heh heh
attend a wedding dinner (i don't even know who's getting married)
chompchomp like crazy (and hopefully exercising enough too)
watch my hair grow
go to church for ball games!
catch the nicenice movies coming up eg shrek! teehee
not forgetting, morph into a muggertoad (gribbit)

on a totally irrelevant note, i dropped my ipod into the toilet bowl. GG.

hellohello! okay now that holidays are here and i'm a free MAN i shall blog more often :D i'm in a splendid mood today because i wasn't the least bit scolded today! that spells Y-A-Y. anyway..

friday
HALF DAY! celebrated may babies' birthdays too! jessie wrote a lil note for each and everyone of us. and we sang a happy mothers' day song for her! she's really sweet. went to catch pirates of the caribbean: at world's end at lido after that. keira knightley was so pretty! orlando bloom's hawte (: but the plot was relatively.. yawns :/ popcorn was not so good too! but the fighting part at the end was quite interesting, thank goodness i woke up at the right time o.o

saturday
math, GHIM MOH MARKETING :D with twang again. yay i love ghim moh market's food. damn good. which meant i ate breakfast TWICE teehee. fat then fat la! oh then it was BROWNIES after lunch at some cafe. it was so rich! rich chocolate madness indeed. i'm still extremely bloated, especially after gulping glasses of water.

oh on a sidenote, please pray for my cousin kae! she's 4 months pregnant. and the foetus has his/her intestines outside the body! so it's either that or that her baby might have down's syndrome. pray for her okay! it's her second try at pregnancy. she's had a miscarriage before ):

i looked at my past photos. and i realised im uglyfying each minute. oh my tian.

"daddy do you know why i can run faster than you?"
"mmhmm?"
"because God gave me the strength! and also the food and vitamins i ate."

(:

i am shocked. why is blogger in chinese! OHMYGOODNESS.
anyway went out with rebecca ngiap bert for spiderman III cos we were dismissed at 110 and i felt like i needed a break after some lousypok chem test. so turns out i didn't make the wrong choice cos it was really good! the right amount of gore and horror factor and action but mary jane and peter parker didnt kiss in the end WHYWHYWHY D: aaah anyway lotsa stupid things happened both in and outside the cinema. i had fun it's a nice combination, i feel, even though i'm from a different class from them but haha who cares it's only ONE class apart.

daddy's celebration thing didn't turn out THAT well. i was bothered, really bothered. i think i finally know how stress feels like now.

friday! all hail the great day.

wah i like them all.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

every day i love you.

i can't think, at all. my head's hurting and so is my heart. okay not really but anyway tomorrow's school but the day after next is HOLIDAY and holidays are always precious and sacred to pathetic students (quoted from yeoyeo) like me so yes, all hail LABOUR DAY. anyway let me blog about saturday it was a really good saturday ♥ i reached school at seven-freaking-thirty in the morning because we have a MATH lesson which i thought was COMPULSORY. and then the teacher reached at EIGHT and we proceeded to do some brain-hurting math and listen to some insults being hurled at us. after 2 hours and a sense of accomplishment aiyun and i left the school for some sumptuous breakfast at ghim moh (and massive fooling around) :D we saw an amos cafe! heehee those who know will know. (side track my head's not hurting anymore cos i just ate some grapes. my mum said it's cos i had low blood glucose levels) it was fun doing rubbish and laughing over stupid stuff and we decided we're gna have breakfast tgt every sat (: BREAKFAST IS GOOD FOR HEALTH! and then it was cell! :D it was only enli dayang lena and jiafa laoshi but nevertheless good. i guess it's the sense of reassurance i get each time i see them! it's a good thing saturdays are almost always enjoyable (: it takes away the arduousness of school. and possibly the only form of contact i have with church.

i thought i saw you looking back at me.

hola. it's been a month! oh my. i'm trying to fix everything that's been displaced! too much has happened in a month. it's hard not to feel imperfect, it's hard not to feel inferior, it's hard not to doubt myself and wonder what exactly is wrong. escalating fears! rahrahrah. bad days, bad days. more to come. but every day, no matter how bad, will have something worth being happy about, in more ways than one. today i was feeling pretty frustrated about my lost ezlink card, lost pencil tin, eating so much more than i should but not exercising, parents etc. so i hid in my room all night. and then out of the blue i decided to dig out the little cards and messages i got for christmas from the churchies. and i'm surprised, even ashamed, at how i used to prefer presents to cards and stuff because they were more tangible in a way, if you get what i mean. now i look at those lines and lines written to me, and each word brings with it a fuzzy feeling that seems to eat up all the angst and fears and unhappiness. i was really touched at how every message seemed to be of welcoming me to the big church family and stuff. i guess all this while i've been too materialistic and overlooked how valuable such handwritten lines and words can be. okay i'm no longer making sense. but my point is, every single day will be dotted with little blessings, it's up to us to discover. today on my way home i was frowning, but yet confident that something good will definitely happen because i really believe that god will bless each and everyone of us in some way or another every single day. and today it was a precious lesson learnt: cherishing and looking beyond materialistic things.

okay la just updating so that this doesn't rot. life doesn't suck, but it doesn't mean it rocks either. i think my terms results are sucky like hell, but i guess that doesn't spell the end of my life yet. everyone's getting a tad more grumpy these days because of sucky terms results but venezia & a raisin scone always manage to put the smile back on our faces. maybe we'll all do fine for A's and see each other on stage IN THE END; i don't wna be the only one amongst the empty chairs still clapping for those on the stage! lofty aspirations, but i probably WILL still be one of those sitting down while the whole world's up on stage! what a loser. just musings and more musings; im surprised at how this entry seems so much longer than my previous ones. anyway just something random: there's this weird uncle in my neighbourhood who's, well, behaving quite weirdly that i'm super freaked out. maybe i should hire a bodyguard (s) to protect myself from his advances omgz. haha anyway it seems like the IN thing to add a z behind some random words and act half twit; i think im addicted to it alreadyz as you can see! when anyone sees this please keep me in your prayers i'll appreciate it alot alot alot! and you know these days i dont reply messages as often to those i usually will because, well, mood aint that good nowadays! but it's okay im still surviving and im waiting for the day i can be genuinely happy on sundays. (and maybe saturdays too) we are the reason is really nice, so is the christmas shoe song huizhen intro-ed to me. so heartwrenching.com! alrightos, that shall be all. i think my hair's grown a little it's not that fugly anymore yay! and i wna get those fats swimming in my body offffffff help.

at the cross i bow my knees.

i finally made it for service today. it was so good, so good. i had no idea how much i missed out until today; it was like feeling God's love all over again. during praise and worship i felt tears in my eyes, and then i remembered what pastor samuel (at huizhen's church) shared about tearing uncontrollably, and feeling loved when his brother told him to begin accepting Christ. God's love, amazing and great. it was a great reminder of how much He loves each and everyone of us. and then today's sermon was in ENGLISH, and i think that's probably why i could fully understand the whole thing. the call to trust, how we respond in difficult situations, the temptation to do things our way and not following His will, and how we can pray for him to show us the way, His will, His plans. and then it was great seeing all the familiar faces. familiar yet so foreign. qiwei lost so much weight! :DD it feels good hearing enwei's voice, may's laughter, seeing yuantying's smiles, songheng's sheepishness, and of course joses' act smart-ness. was surprised to see juin playing the guit but it was quite a pleasant one all the same, reeling me back to the lang hua yi duo duo days with the yewseng and ep. all the i-havent-seen-you-for-so-long hugs. thank you for the welcoming arms. even though i havent been in church for long, even though i may not be the easiest person to get along with, even though i may not be the nicest, even though this and that and many other stuff.

yyxz tomorrow! just makes everything so much better.

mediocre.

went to gabby's blog, saw no new updates but then i just slinked back into my chair and listened till all the songs were played. very comforting, very uplifting, i feel a whole lot better. so one way or another, thank you gabby. and -shakeshand! you did pretty good for your semester! gpa not bad ahh (:

going to huizhen's church tmr with qixin, for an outreach event i think. i wonder how it'll be like? shit HAIYARR. i just pissed my mum off again.

maybe to you i'm really flawed, really inadequate. haha if this speaks to more than the intended i suppose more people than i expected feels the same.

spread some love ♥

sing to me something so beautiful.

omgaaaaad it's thursday already. the holidays are ending soon! now im quite sad. i saw jiafa laoshi's mail about the prayer and praise thing BUT I CANT MAKE IT. even sadder. makes me miss yyxz (already) and church even more, all the singing and praising ): I HOPE I CAN GO THIS SUNDAY. sigh! and i think i'm slowly slipping in my studying schedule.

coffee bean staff are so rubbishy. (at least the westmall branch's one are)
and hanakimi is nice; i like to look at wu zun :D

sometimes when we're torn, we tend to make one choice the priority and the other, an option. okay i dont know what im talking about but i do hope someone gets my point, somehow.
byebye.

coming from the lips of an angel.

why oh why oh why.
AIYAR I DONT KNOW.

happy (advanced) birthday, uncle william! :DD

deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder.

my heart broke when i saw this!
it's really really sad.

you took a hammer to these walls
dragged the memories down the hall
packed your bags and walked away
there was nothing i could say

and when you slammed the front door shut
alot of others opened up
so did my eyes, so i could see
that you were never the best for me

emo.com ah.

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

i am very excited because i planned the food i'm gna eat for tmr and the day after :D
the cinnamon crossiant was kinda screwed; it makes me wonder if i should have just pretended i don't recognise the cashier, buy the muffin and run away.
i think i can go be a maid! i like to do groceries and i can do certain household chores. not very well, but i can learn. i can bake sub-standard stuff too! how's that for you.
my brother's room is filled with ants and it makes me feel queasy all over. eeeks DIRTAYE. and is there this smell or is it just my imagination?

a pleasant surprise, but no cheap thrill this time.

phones can be quite a bane to society.

your guardian angel.

use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and i know i'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray

i wish i could do so much more.

i guess we never really moved on.

yay i've got new songs in my ipoddy (: and i'm secretly addicted to the teriyaki boyz song shit even though i always pretend i'm cringing when clarice or shuwen sings it. each era of songs brings back a set of memories, but the happy/embarrassing ones usually offset the lousy ones D: reminiscence.

i said hello, but you kept on walking.

my kind of happy: good food, good food, good food, and some nice light exercise to top it all up (:

i didn't go to church today, but i guess it was kinda a fair exchange for some family time. we went to vivo to have lunch and walk around. it was quite a standard procedure thing, to lunch, (window)shop, coffee+food, walk around abit more, dinner at some nearby place. but today was really good, probably cos i really haven't gone shopping for such a LOOOOOONG time. my only regret is that i forgot to check out the pullovers at pull&bear TSK. but anyway no don't be mistaken i didnt return home with trucks of paperbags; it just makes me happy spotting nice stuff and knowing i haven't lost my love/touch for shopping (: anyway the cashier at gloria jean's coffee (smth like that) thought i said 'GAY' when i said 'JY' and so i had to respond to the staff at the collection point when he said, "gay?" o.o daaaaaamn.

going to vivo reminds me of alpha camp. how frozenflame went to the FERRY TERMINAL instead of WALKING to sentosa, how tying and i ran there, how juin came out impatiently to look for us only to see us on super low morale, how xibin laoshi said we should just have lunch at vivo, how we all had icecream on our way to vivo. so nostalgic! can't wait for alpha camp 2007 (:

i think i collected a number of weird stares today because i was wearing my YELLOW (pirated) little miss sunshine tee. they probably thought topshop launched some limited edition yellow tee after the PINK LITTLE MISS FUN tees have been sold out :O

march holidays! byebye sleep deprivation, hello late mornings!

i just wish there was so much more than that, about me&you.

chem spa, chem lesson one after the other; BRAIN-DEAD.
holland v crystal jade with joy and amy; i didn't get lost :D
cell; ate and ate and ate and stoned.
gym; the most satisfying one hour of the day (:

summary of my day! i don't wna go down to the nitty gritties haha. anyway, something that was touched on during cell group: mutual understanding. i just realised all the moaning and groaning and moping i've done recently was all quite immature. maybe we've just attained the level of mutual understanding (: it's okay we all learn!

qiwei: jieying im really proud of you cause although your life is nanhua-like
like mine, you are still willing to serve God so wholeheartedly.im happy for you
that God has given me such a happy and retarted senior that can babysit me and
(try) to tutor me.

sweet (:

von: this is a happy entry! :D

happy birthday margareth! :D

i think this template looks retarded but i wanted something clean, like desperately. so here goes! alright tmr i've chem spa. and i absolutely dread it. went out with ting to eat venezia (again!) cos bio lab was cancelled :D and came back in time for a great game of street bendy! SISTERHOOD haha. opened some old wounds and talked about last year and i hope i stitched those back tightly already. shrugs- william i think i cannot adhere to the HEALTHY DIET PLAN lah! it's always hard to resist a good talk over some icecream and scones D: ♥ gotta start studying for terms, as in like, mug. i can already think of the pending dates after terms maaaaan: more venezia icecream, some light retail therapy if possible, more good movies, tcc&neos with joy. okay let's try to get started with STUDYING for terms firstttt ): bye folks.

i'm so contemplating hopping over to livejournal because i'm getting QUITE frustrated with blogger :/

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you

Each one a line or two

"I'm fine baby, how are you?"

Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough

My words were cold and flat

And you deserve more than that

Thank God for you all, for making school so bearable.
Had a ball of a time talking to Michelle during squash, about Annabelle and LSE :DD
Discovered that the school's cold beancurd's quite nice!
Not bad I feel a little fitter today, squash is now full of running and receiving faster balls. Beats stagnating at home anyway.
Saw Gina banana and Joshua Leong in school! It feels kinda homey looking at them! Churchies cum juniors (:
I need to do some constructive work now, byebye.
Yay we have cell this week!
Today is Vivian Teh's birthday :D
We're all retarded beyond words.
Margareth came back today! Chatted a little with the sc5 juniors (:
Prayers work wonders.
Apples are probably the healthiest kind of fruit around.
I think it's become a ritual sorta thing, to clear my bowels after doing running during squash. HEH.
So many distractions during squash today. Good and bad. LSE! And some ______.
Noel ate a chocolate strawberry gummy that dropped on the void deck bench unknowingly.
They said Leone is trying to appeal out of RJ that's why he's not in school today. WTH.
My hair's so screweddddd.
Oh my gosh I just realised that I've got an unsealed bag of cornflakes and I think they're probably uncrispy now! ):
I get easily tired nowadays.
Okay I really need to go study before I fall asleep while reading about neurones and nerve impulses.
Did I mention that Saturday there's cell and I'm happy?
Tomorrow is early day (: 110!
This entry is super randomised but I'm too lazy to organise into relevant paragraphs.
I've an essay due on Friday.
Oh and Gabby, yes I do read your daily verses and it IS scary how some seem to strike me so accurately.

OKAY GTG

helloooo.
today is quite horrible, enough said.
but then i feel like ive alot to reflect on, after seeing von's bible and the tv guide thing, and gabby's verse-of-the-day thing.
and then the short conversation between me aiyun and ting.

raaaaaaaah.
the road ahead's a sudden sea.

I've had feelings like a thorn in my side.

♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEOTZELING (28Feb)
♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEESHAORONG (3 March)

The two of my many loves in my life haha. (I sound so fickle) I am happy tonight! Because I've finally figured out where I wanna go in life. And planned which course I wanna take if I ever do make it to the UNIVERSITY. (I'd better) People have been asking, and I never had a real answer nor interest in finding out, until recently when I found myself staring a little longer at those little booths of overseas universities in the walkway. But no, overseas studies cost a bomb and I'm not smart enough for a scholarship! Blah. So anyway my dream course for now will be..

Communications&Media!

Something along those lines, because I want to go into public relations next time. Qixin will I see you there too? I remembered how we did the career key thing during CME and had almost the same job matchings :DD

Maybe I should start talking to Miss Neeta more during GP so I can slowly become more eloquent and proficient in The English Language! And maybe to Mock Noel, too. He's a stupid shit but he's really good at blabbering English.

GP terms next Monday! SO FASTTTT :O

Maybe I'm not enough, maybe you're just too much.

So after a ride on the emotional roller-coaster, I'm permanently relieved. Freaking out together, using chocolates to fight that scary feeling, waiting for the result slips that never seem to come (because the teacher was ABIT slowww), and heart racing madly, eyes scrutinising at the result slip in the teacher's hand hoping the letter resembles that of an A. Thankful, that God's been watching over me (: Went to see the j3s collect results. Many army boys who just booked out walked into the hall. So cute it's like huge bags and green uniformmmm D: Oops I digressed. Yeah so anyway all the multiple distinction holders were up on stage, and it's quite insipring! I hope I can be on the stage next year too! Work hard work hard work hard. It's reassuring to see the smiles of those seniors that I saw and spoke to; it's almost like they made me think that the whole journey to A levels isn't that arduous after all. That fleeting moment of joy just offsets everything. BUT, we all know this feeling will fade by the time MONDAY comes zz.

On another note, I gulped alot alot of pu'er tea just now. Hopefully it's gonna help burn some fats away!

Jaded is the word.

Watched Hannibal Rising with Bert Rebecca Johnathan Gary. Rebecca and I were having random bouts of HIGHHHH. Maybe that explains why I was so high again while I was with May, waiting for Juin's parents after yyxz :O The movie's gory to the max, and the plot isn't that thick, but still, I think it's a movie worth catching! D: Reached home got kinda screwed by my parents; I think I'll have to stop going for yyxz already. Not so often anyway, because I don't think I can take it constantly churning out logical excuses while looking at them in their eyes. It feels sucky to the core. Is it weak to not continue fighting for it? Shrugs. It's like lying blatantly and when I think of how I've been doing it.. ohmygosh.

Getting back GSC results tomorrow! My heart's about to jump out.

Had a great chat with Vivian on my way home. Thanks girl for waiting for me to finish squash! (: Those funorama days still feel like yesterday. Love how we always manage to talk non-stop about the most trivial stuff. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO ESSENTIAL BREW TO EAT CALAMARI WITH CLAUDIA AS WELL?

Today the clique turned up in full force! :D My happy pills ♥♥♥ Some come and go, but all these are here to stay (:

Things I wanna say to random people:

"You've gone so far. ):"
"I'm grateful for the space, at least that way I can function more normally."
"It's like a two-way thing, really. You're not the only one."
"Your smiles make me happy (:"
"Stop."
"Thanks for making me feel like shit."
"I still feel a little queasy this day of each month."
"So fake."

I was drowning my sorrows but they learned how to swim.

Very scary.

Anyway, it was a damn lousy Tuesday la. The whole day was so dreary and lesson-packed ): But I think I know what I'm bothered by. Nevermind. Andhowihatetobinge.
The only good thing was that the GP package test's quite easy.
It's okay, tomorrow will be a better day! As long as I try my best, I think I can do it. Right?
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

"You shall not bear false witness." (Exodus 20:16)
Tell me what to do.

A zillion smiles/hugs/loves/kisses to KATRINA VELICARIA ♥ Thanks for your morning surprise ie an apple and a funny sweet letter! ((: It really made everything that was weighing on my mind vanish. Thanks so much babe, life's all smiles with you around. Today went really well for a MONDAYYYY. Chem lab was interesting because we all pretended to be Aladdin while playing with the kerosene lamps :D We are retarded yes. Anyway the new year goodies at home are almost finishing :D I'll go attack the box of Fererro Rochers resting in the fridge as soon as the pineapple tarts are gone! :D And do you know Frosties are actually super nice? I wouldn't have known if not for Charmaine PZX! The stupid tiger kills the whole appeal haha. Go try go try (: Yyxz later! I am scaredddddddd, of __________. Okay byebye I gotta eat dinner and leave!

okay i decided to make it a secret post.

tomorrow there's school. i don't really like school.

gabrielle is going for yyxz tmr! haha i just felt like saying that. that girl makes me laugh (:

There can be so many reasons to everything but it's easy to be only convinced by the worst one.

Bad mood = Eat alot = Empty loveletter container.
Time check: 12.06AM.
Congratulations to me for growing another bucket of fats.

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I don't know if everyone mentioned will get to see this, but still..

Nice talking to you about funny stuff and serious stuff too, Kat. It's nice that we can do this little catching up online when we're too busy to stop by and do it in school (:

Thanks for always caring and listening and advising and keeping me in your prayers, William (:

Thanks you for that message, Cherilyn. It really helps to know that you understood how I was feeling despite it being a seemingly trivial matter.

I love your braiding skills, Amy! My hair was still neat and tidy even after PE :D Can I employ you to do it for me every morning? Happy early birthday anyway!

Joy, you're like my sunshine after rain! It's cool how you're great friends with Ben and how we can easily chill out together (: And I love how we can form an emo club impromptu and start talking about.. life.

Your smiles are a blessing, YuanTying! (:

SongHeng, talking to you is damn fun cos you're super funny and I like to pick up quarrels with you but you know I don't mean it :D And I know you're NO. TWO D:

Tingting, come back from Taiwan! I miss having you around to disturb me during lectures. Do you know all of us actually pay 100% attention (or, fall asleep) in school these days?! And Cold Storage's scones owns Coffee Bean's :/

Jian yang I've decided to let you have a spot in my entry because you're leaving soon. Like, in a few hours! Bon voyage (: Give you chocolates when you come back!

Esther, if I go for games tomorrow, let's play BADMINTON :D

Reuben, aye you retarded army boy thanks for telling me to be happy when I'm not. Good friends right? Tell me more secrets la! D: And be nicer to me!

I still have your 20% discount voucher, Ben. Can I call it my own?

Let's get drunk on coffee, Qixin :D

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It's quite tiring to keep laughing all the time.

And if I could hold on through the tears and laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or, just a beautiful disaster

brother/sisterhood (:

would you catch me if i fall out of what i fell in

i don't wna run away from this

i just know that i don't need this

Which star are you from?
Saturday, 10.30PM
Channel 55

My current ♥. I don't care if you call me an auntie for loving korean soap dramas because I just do. It's my ticket to unlimited wailing. Anyway, Chinese New Year's been stale like every other day, with more food, more time to slack, and of course the hongbaos. I'm really distant from my cousins because of certain things that happened, and also because I don't take the initiative to talk to them. So I can't fault anyone for the gap between us. But it's okay! They helped me cook food during steamboat this afternoon HAHA. What a fats-laden past few days.

:D I'm meeting Qixin and EP and I-don't-know-who-else tomorrow for Swensens!
:( I chipped one of my contact lenses booboo.

Right, happy CNY though we're almost into our third day already! And William, I saw the advert already. Don't look like lorrrrrrrrr.

Your second option.

SIXTEEN FEB. Pure joy (:

Qixin, thanks for the nice catching up at tcc yesterday. It was an absolute essential after so so long. And it amazes me how we still have the same pet peeves about people, and it just feels different telling you stuff because you know the background information and so much more (: Love you liau. More kopi chilling out!

Oh, and Tzeling brought me my birthday present from LAST YEAR. It's like, Espirit underwear! I was laughing at it. Thank you Addie Puiyin and Tzeling! (:


Class contact time (:


Andrea became a Level 7 PIG! :D


Nerds :D Huizhen's hilarious!


Aiyun!


♥ Ting Huizhen Aiyun Mel Cherilyn and our 123456 poses!


♥ Ting, my favourite Venezia and scones girl


Aiyun&Ting, my two favourite girls!


First try.


Second try.


We are twits hahaha.


Trying to catch M&Ms with our mouths :D


My go to school partner! (: And primary school tuition friend :DD


Munting the alien, Wang and Sam (:


Stupid faces (supposedly) but only I looked the part o.o


♥ Before the netball court (:

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY DARLINGS ♥♥♥

School was good. The flowers chocolates sweets tiny hearts messages and hugs really made my day, commercialised as the day seems haha D: Went to meet my favourite people Pearl Qihui Yuzheng Shaorong and Zengliang at Island Creamery in the evening. Ate at Coronation Plaza in the end but anyway, it was time well-spent (: Had a nice little crapping session, and I am glad I got to talk to the girls, even if it wasn't in-depth talk! It's been so long since I last carried a full conversation with them (: Oh and highlight of the day/night: YUZHENG WALKED ME HOME. Actually there was a reason for it but nevermind la haha. Gazillion thanks for the retarded leaf, bearing with my fickle-mindedness at NTUC, missing 2 buses, everything (: Made my Valentine's Day half-true haha! And I can still JIANG HUA YU okay! Let me cut queue next time okay? You know, THAT queue. Hahaha :D Yay. I am extremely happy tonight. Thanks for making my day so right, lovelies! No pictures! ): But it's okay, I think I'll always remember today, the overrated day of love.

MAY
Hey I just read your entry! Thanks darling. Felt encouraged by your post, really! I'll hang in there, because I am sure things will be alright soon! When the truth can no longer be hidden, anyway. Love you dear girl. Happy Valentine's Day! It's so apt that I read that only today, it just makes me feel fuzzy inside knowing that you're there, caring (:

I tried to make chocolate from cocoa powder today and it was like shit, literally and metaphorically. Go figure. Oh well, nothing for you guys tomorrow then ): Valentine's Day is afterall just another commercialised NORMAL school day. BUTBUTBUT it doesn't dampen the excitement I'm feeling because I'm gonna see my favourite people tomorrow, both in school and after school! Plus we can wear our Love ACtually tees to school for a change. Life's somehow taken a turn, and things are in good in some ways and bad in others. But it really strengthens my faith in Him. I love the peace inside me now. Don't I just look so serene? Eh don't tell me I look pissed I am just looking PEACEFUL. Okay I'm rubbishing. Can you tell I'm in a good mood? This is a considerably long entry. IT'S THE ENDORPHINS AT WORK.

Hellohello.
It's funny how I never realised only until today, that I don't have to please everyone.
I hope I can go for service this Sunday.

It's getting tiring lying.

EDIT.
I can't wait for Wednesday to see all my lovelies again.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

I wish I had a magic vacuum cleaner and a self-destructable mask.

Shit I just binged again! I HATE THAT.

HELLOHELLO.
Lots of stuff happened within this few days, and I can't say it's been exactly smooth. Yet it seems that every single day seems so mundane that I don't see the point of blogging. Okay, I probably don't make sense, but anyhow, I am glad for the tiny blessings and the favourite people who've stayed with me throughout this week. Thankyou thankyou thankyou for making me feel loved D: Everybody chin up and hang in there, because Friday's swinging by reaaaaaaally soon (:

My new favourite food = scones (:

happy birthday jason!


So tell me what's bothering me.
Blatant lies, guilty admissions.
Exclusivity.
Silence really, really kills.

Hello, hello. School really numbs people. Or to put it more aptly, it keeps us so occupied that we can't be bothered with all the rubbishy stuff until we finally get some time to breathe and all. Which is probably late at night but that's when we have to go sleep or we'll not be able to wake up the next day and start the whole numbing process again. Anyway, food's my only source of comfort. It's not a really good thing to start eating so much all of a sudden because:

1. I start ballooning, already ballooning.
2. I spend 70% of my allowance on food.
3. I am not exercising as much as I should.

I think my face just got rounder. Damn!

Happy birthday to Shaoming Shuwen and XY! :D I stayed up to text them at the stroke of midnight! I'm damn nice. So long, lovely people.