every day i love you.

i can't think, at all. my head's hurting and so is my heart. okay not really but anyway tomorrow's school but the day after next is HOLIDAY and holidays are always precious and sacred to pathetic students (quoted from yeoyeo) like me so yes, all hail LABOUR DAY. anyway let me blog about saturday it was a really good saturday ♥ i reached school at seven-freaking-thirty in the morning because we have a MATH lesson which i thought was COMPULSORY. and then the teacher reached at EIGHT and we proceeded to do some brain-hurting math and listen to some insults being hurled at us. after 2 hours and a sense of accomplishment aiyun and i left the school for some sumptuous breakfast at ghim moh (and massive fooling around) :D we saw an amos cafe! heehee those who know will know. (side track my head's not hurting anymore cos i just ate some grapes. my mum said it's cos i had low blood glucose levels) it was fun doing rubbish and laughing over stupid stuff and we decided we're gna have breakfast tgt every sat (: BREAKFAST IS GOOD FOR HEALTH! and then it was cell! :D it was only enli dayang lena and jiafa laoshi but nevertheless good. i guess it's the sense of reassurance i get each time i see them! it's a good thing saturdays are almost always enjoyable (: it takes away the arduousness of school. and possibly the only form of contact i have with church.

i thought i saw you looking back at me.

hola. it's been a month! oh my. i'm trying to fix everything that's been displaced! too much has happened in a month. it's hard not to feel imperfect, it's hard not to feel inferior, it's hard not to doubt myself and wonder what exactly is wrong. escalating fears! rahrahrah. bad days, bad days. more to come. but every day, no matter how bad, will have something worth being happy about, in more ways than one. today i was feeling pretty frustrated about my lost ezlink card, lost pencil tin, eating so much more than i should but not exercising, parents etc. so i hid in my room all night. and then out of the blue i decided to dig out the little cards and messages i got for christmas from the churchies. and i'm surprised, even ashamed, at how i used to prefer presents to cards and stuff because they were more tangible in a way, if you get what i mean. now i look at those lines and lines written to me, and each word brings with it a fuzzy feeling that seems to eat up all the angst and fears and unhappiness. i was really touched at how every message seemed to be of welcoming me to the big church family and stuff. i guess all this while i've been too materialistic and overlooked how valuable such handwritten lines and words can be. okay i'm no longer making sense. but my point is, every single day will be dotted with little blessings, it's up to us to discover. today on my way home i was frowning, but yet confident that something good will definitely happen because i really believe that god will bless each and everyone of us in some way or another every single day. and today it was a precious lesson learnt: cherishing and looking beyond materialistic things.