Hellohello. A few more hours to setting off; I can't wait. Will be bunking with Jessica (: There'll be many, many first times; it's a mixture of anticipation and intimidation. A huge THANKYOU to those who asked me to take care and all yup (: It's especially heartwarming to see concern jumping from behind those words, and I really really appreciate it. Those who haven't, you'd better! :DD Still got chance, lah. My flight's at 850 in the morning tomorrow (: Alright, that'll be all darlings. Will be back with many many photos in 2 weeks! God bless you all.

Much love XOXO

Had breakfast with my mum at the market. We were chatting randomly when she told me how my dad led his younger days, something so heartwrenching that it brought tears to my eyes (she asked me to wipe my tears or else everyone will start thinking that she just scolded me and I was making a scene o.o). )':

And then I just started watching Stairway to Heaven. It tugged at my heart strings so so so so much! More tissue please.

4.27pm Oh my the show's killing me it's like so so so so sad that I don't want to continue watching, or else I think I'll just get life-long depression, and maybe go blind from the gallons of tears D: But nevertheless, thank goodness for the existence of nice Korean shows! and of course the hot Korean guys inside (:

And so here's something to pass time since I've decided to stop watching Stairway to Heaven (for now).

1.FAV MARKER?- Red Zig (:
2.Say something about the person you're chatting with NOW.- I'm appearing offline o.o
3.BEST icecream flavour ?- Vanilla Caramel Brownie/ Yoggi
4.Close your eyes NOW , so what do you see ?- Food?
5.Happiest girl alive?- Joy? Her name's the best evidence hahaha :D
6.Best day of the year- Holiday
7.Secret love?- I like to record my voice when I sing hahaha you can ask HuiZhen -.-
8.What bothers you right now?- Interacting with the China students; I'm bad at socialising.
9.What is your greatest fear?- People dissecting me and analysing me.
10.What was the best thing that happened to you this week?- I realised that my group for the China trip is quite funny :D
11.What are you planning to do this weekend?- Take lots and lots of photos in China (:
12.Who is the one you're thinking of right now?- Nobody..
13.Who do you run to when you're down?- Hmm : Juin? Sometimes Ben.
14.Who are the most influential people in your life right now?- My parents, I think.
15.Who will you call/text later?- I think it's abit unpredictable, but I guess it's Zihui.
16.Who makes your day?- People who make me feel appreciated; Funny people (:
17.Who do you want to talk to right now?- No one; I'm anti-social.
18.Is your heart broken, beating, or taken?- Beating but frozen and kept away.
19.Who is the last person you high-fived?- I don't know, probably my partner-in-crime after our conspiracy was a success :
20.Drank milk straight out of the carton? - Milk = :X
19. Do you talk in your sleep?- My parents said I do :O
20. Who wrote the book of love?- Venus?
21. Have you ever flown a kite?- Nawwww ):
22. Have you ever crawled through a window?- No lol.
23.Have you ever eaten dog food?- No.
24.Any cool scars?- Scars, yeah. Cool, no.
25.What do you do when no one is watching?- I dig my nose, jiggle my fats, scratch my armpits, and possibly any other disgusting behaviour you can fathom.
26.Do you talk to yourself?- At times..
27. Two things about the opposite sex that appeal to you- Eyes that say alot; Funny&gentlemanly (that's considered one thing because it's joined together!)
28.What bothers you right now?- Wasn't this asked just now o.o
29.When was the last time you kissed your dad/mom?- Kindergarten or Primary 1, if I'm not wrong.
30.Would you let go of someone you love?- If I know I have to.
31.What is the major reason of a break up?- When 2 people cannot get along anymore, and the obligation to keep the relationship going has disappeared.
32.Most important ingredient in a relationship?- Chemistry.
33.One thing you like about love?- Knowing that even when the sky falls down, there'll still be someone who'll hold it up for you (:
34.Which feature of your face do you like the most?- Eyes. Probably the best of the worst.. ):
35.Morning person?- Yeah, after weeks of being woken up by my mum to go to the market.
36.Hidden talent?- Crying at the slightest things.
37.Can you hoola hoop?- Yes! Hahaha. Okay make that my hidden talent.
38.Ever flown a kite?- Eh wth, no I said that just now
39.Doodle?- When I am bored! (:
40.Made someone cry?- I.. don't know.
41.Bitten something or someone?- Yeah :X
42.extrovert or introvert?- Introvert to strangers, extrovert to people who know me well.
43.Would you pay for flowers?- It depends on who the flowers are for..
44.Get mad about?- Accusations and groundless assumptions
45.White or red?- Can I take both?
46.Sleeping posture?- On my side.
47.Double or trio?- ??
48.Coffee bean or starbucks?- TCC! Okay la, Starbucks.
49.Sleeping hours?- 7-8. I'm normal hahaha.

Okayokay byebye (:

Cherries = my current fetish (: All because of the Louis Vuitton cherry wallet I saw someone carrying today :O Shall see if China sells imitations :D Meanwhile I'll just make do with my Bata cherry slippers (:

I hate the way my rationality gave way for that very split second. But it felt so surreal.

They told her I was made in Santa's workshop.

To you.

Thank you for giving for that period of time the love that filled my heart to the brim; for all the surprises you've planned just because; for waiting patiently for me to overcome my little barriers; for all the assurance and telling me you're worried for me because of the stupidest things that always happened. Perhaps I jumped the gun by bringing it to a halt; perhaps we both knew deep inside that no amount of love could overcome that number of vast differences that existed; or maybe, just maybe, we could have salvaged the situation. But nevertheless, I'd rather you let the pretty memories remain before any major conflicts could start, than allow the ugly disputes to plague you for a long time to come. Maybe there wasn't/isn't any pretty memory to speak of, because your impression of me has probably been marred by the last thing that I'd done to hurt you. But please do know that I wasn't having it easy either, perhaps it just wasn't in me then to handle things like that. Things that followed subsequently, words that spread like wildfire from school to school, even to the class, the shock that shook me when I found out what's been said of me, the nights I spent wondering if they really came from you or if they somehow got twisted on their way to someone else-- even if they successfully made me crumble, I still thank you; even if they made me build an even stronger barrier, I still thank you. Because you helped me see the truest people that shone in times like these. Because you helped me cherish even more the very few that I could trust with my deepest secrets. A new chapter has begun for both of us ever since, and I can only say, maybe you indirectly helped me to grow up. I've never believed in friends after a separation, and the whole 'keep-in-contact' thing has been all but a farce, so I can only hope that you will grow to find someone who'll appreciate and treasure you like a precious gem much, much more than I did.

Hellohello (: Nothing much's been going on in my life, so yeah, nothing substantial to blog about eh? I've started to pack my luggage already, countdown 4 days to the China trip. Actually it's 3.5 days, because on Saturday morning I'll set off already. Now that the trip's nearing I find myself having lots of doubts and uncertainty. Shrugs. Let's hope they're just unnecessary thoughts : Oh, the luggage packing was irritating, and I almost got into a row with my mum because of that. Okay let's not talk about it. Sometimes I think both of us are equally childish and stubborn. Runs in the blood, I suppose that's what people usually say -.-

Gotta go back to school tommorow and on Thursday, from 8.30AM to godknowswhen ): That means waking up early, staying in school for x hours, and fighting the sleeping bug. It's okay, I will survive. Afterall it's not as if I'll be in a room filled with strangers. There's still Jessica! (: Ray of hope lol.

Anyway, that aside, have you seen the new avatar above my counter? Cherries! Haha (: I think it's pretty, and I bet you think so too! A nice change from Stitch, isn't it. Been wanting to change my template, but let's just wait a bit yeah.

Aiyah, like I mentioned, nothing substantial to blog about, so there. An entry of rubbish. Dinner's here. My stomach's growling. Can you hear it? :O

Yo! Fellow neoprint buddy and great friend. I'm so sorry that I made you pay extra today. Its all my fault. Haha.. But it was such a fun time with ya. Love ya loads and take care. Don't catch a cold since you're wearing so little. Haha...Smiles... Here's to our beautiful faces and teeth and our chit chatting. Cheers :)

Maybe that's why I look forward to another round of neoprints and tcc with her (:

On days like today, I just feel like grumbling about how fat and ugly I am non-stop. I think we all need reassurance sometimes so that we know we are what/ how we think we are. Or is it just me?

Jessica: Hey dear. You take care okay? Get well soon (: China trip soon must not fall sick so easily kae! Love <3



I bought this at SIX because I thought it was so cute that a purse can look like that :D Hahaha.

Today was absolutely fabulous (: Joy was such a joy to be with hahaha :DD Too bad Jessica fell sick so she couldn't join us. We met at Cineleisure at 2.50pm thanks to me being late :/ Hahaha. Oops, but anyway then we went to eat lunch. Actually it was only Joy; I ate at home already. It was Ocean Baked Pasta from Westmall's Pastamania but it was so yucky. What a waste of money. $9.20 you know!! Rahrah. Yepyep. Then it was neoprints (: Took at two different machines! The photo's quite blur because I took it with a camera; my scanner is skrewed. Yeah, I didn't take picts of the other one because.. I didn't.



Okay it doesn't look really nice here but it looks nice in real life! Haha (: Do you see the second pict! It reads 'We wish for... to get thin; to get fat' HAHA. Joy is REALLY skinny while I am REALLY fat. Sigh!

And then after that we went to tcc (: Woo, ordered Latte Mocha again. Or was it Mocha Latte? Shrugs. Anyway, chatted and chatted (: Very nice ambience, nice sofa, nice drink, nice chocolate fudge cake! And I secretly thought the waiter was not bad-looking :X I accidentally dripped coffee into my glass of water and had to ask for a change. Tell me I am not embarrassing. Look at the house I designed! :O



Cute? (YES.) :D

We talked about girls and boys and then we came to the topic sex. HAHA the content was so funny it's nothing dirty where are you people thinking. Just pure, innocent thoughts and some disgusting truth hahaha (: Then Joy suddenly hinted that she felt narcisstic today. Which meant more neos. So once again we headed to the neoprints place :/ We are mad I tell you. Had fun doing stupid poses, but we picked the not so stupid ones of course.




Joy has BEAUTIFUL teeth after her braces have been removed (: And it's her first time taking picts ever since she said byebye to braces! Haha, she has a sweet pretty smile now!



This is not a pretty picture but my point is, I discovered I HAVE A CHIN! As in, it's showing! What a perfect addition to a wonderful day like today. Triumphant :D I always had a saucepan face until yesterday! Hahaha. Shit I am damn retarded.


On a sadder note, I feel quite broke now. As in, really broke. I offered to pay a hundred buckeroos for the bag and pullover that my parents got for me because I felt guilty that they were willing to buy those for me even though they didn't come cheap. And then I burnt about thirty five buckeroos away during today's little trip. The bad news is I still have a chalet and Alpha camp to pay for! But for that I can always ask for money to pay from my mum because.. she knows I will be broke; I don't ask for money when I go out and I don't have pocket money in the holidays. But I don't want to keep asking money from her. So it's Project Budget now! Scrimp and save and grab deals like an aunty! DD:

Okay, shall leave now. Gymming with Enli tomorrow! (: Yeah. But I don't feel like doing 2.4 (Yes it's only 2.4 and I'm already dreading) so I think I shall just do the same old skipping later. Then tomorrow morning I will just hop on the Flabelos machine, do some machines and do some light running. Then it will be cell! :D Tea session again hahaha.

I think the orange hair tie is so cute, it makes me happy like a kid all over again (:

And those feelings will never fade.

All this while I've been seeking temporary relief; chasing those thoughts away whenever they surface, trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be doing what's wrong. But there isn't any right or wrong; we are all but victims of love.

The best apt christmas present this year will be a fats blaster.

Today is PW day. o.o We went to JingHui's house to tie up some strings. SeeWah and I took like, half an hour to reach her house when it was supposed to be a five-minute walk. We are lousy, yes I know. And anyway, SeeWah is from BPMC! I got a shock when I found out. Slacked around 'cos we were almost done and all. Huizhen and Afiyah joined us later, thank goodness. As usual HuiZhen and I were shooting each other again. But it's all in the name of fun so it's okay. Typed my script, so now I gotta memorise it, and settle some ppt stuff, and I'll be done (: I hope we'll do fine tomorrow! It's the last leg of the race, we gotta give it our best shot yepyep.

I left first to meet my parents so we could get stuff that I need for the China Immersion thing. It's in two weeks and that means I only have either this weekend or the next to finish getting everything, so my parents said it'd be better to buy everything first. Buying everything at one go is scary; so much money was spent. I mean, it's the same if I buy it on separate trips, but it's less appalling, the amount of money spent. Oh well, I felt guilty about the money so I offered to pay half. And because I offered to split the amount, my parents began saying I'm some small rich woman.

Dinner was at Din Tai Fung (: Our first time there, so we ordered some small dishes to share. Food was good, ambience was good, service was good. We were all satiated at the end of everything. There are days when we need to pamper ourselves with food; THIS will be the day (:

Away with the angsty fangsty emo post.

We're meeting in school at 7 tomorrow because we are the first group. I'd better go off, do what I intend to do, and then do some PW stuff and practise my speech in front of the mirror. Maybe I'll end up laughing in disgust at myself speaking.

只要你的肩膀 依然让我靠

Today is a lousy day. I haven't even touched on my PW script yet; the thumbdrive is lying in the corner of my bag. I ate two ferrero rochers in hope of lifting my mood but it seems that chocolates have lost their appeal. On days like that I prefer to plug in my earphones and pretend I cannot hear what my parents are saying. Ignorance is bliss anyway. I think they always try to speak in Cantonese but I don't think they realise I understand every single word they are saying. I just hate that they act like nothing has happened after their acidic words.

Thoughts ran through my mind again when I listened to those songs. It is easy to forgive, but hard to forget. I think until I learn how to forget, I will never be able to be at ease with myself. It sucks to suddenly start wallowing in self pity, but I know I will get out of it before I sink too deep. Things are always okay. Only I am not.

I am waiting for the day when Ben, Joy and I will get to chill out together (:

Had the sudden impulse to gym just now but I know I'll just face another round of lashings and more unpleasant stuff so, forget it.

What a lousy day. (Yes I know I said it right at the beginning.)

1. If I were a month I would be: July
2. If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday
3. If I were a time of day I would be: 1700
4. If I were a planet I would be: Venus
5. If I were a sea animal I would be: a starfish
6. If I were a direction I would be: West
7. If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a chandelier
8. If I were a symbol I would be: &
9. If I were a historical figure I would be: MARIE CURIE HAHAHA. no, I don't know, really.
10. If I were a liquid I would be: plain water!
11. If I were a stone I would be: ruby
12. If I were a tree, I would be: a christmas tree
13. If I were a bird, I would be: a hen
14. If I were a tool, I would be: a screwdriver
15. If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a champagne rose
16. If I were a kind of weather, I would be: sunshine-filled with a slight breeze
17. If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a xylophone
18. If I were an animal, I would be: a jigglypuff
19. If I were a color, I would be: any colour with hints of glitter
20. If I were an emotion, I would be: emo
21. If I were a vegetable, I would be: a broccoli
22. If I were a sound, I would be: a lullaby
23. If I were an element, I would be: water
24. If I were a car, I would be: some mazda car
25. If I were a song, I would be: 靠近一点点
26. If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Steven Spielberg? shrugs-
27. If I were a book, I would be written by: Jodi Picoult
28. If I were a food, I would be: a chocolatey piece of brownie with a scoop of icecream on top (:
29. If I were a place, I would be: a nice coffee house! (:
30. If I were a material, I would be: lace
31. If I were a taste, I would be: sweet :D HAHAHA
32. If I were a scent, I would be: the smell of rich chocolate
33. If I were a word, I would be: ribbon
34. If I were a body part I would be: eyes
35. If I were a facial expression I would be: o.o
36. If I were a subject in school I would be: PE
37. If I were a cartoon character I would be: chip (as in chip&dale)
38. If I were a shape I would be a: star!
39. If I were a character in a movie I would be played by: I want Charlize Theron, she's so pretty (:
40. If I were a game I would be: netball?

sleepy.

Because I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand


Had my anti-flu jab, hurts. I actually dreamt about it last night. Stupid dream. No, nightmare.
I gained weight @!#*&?! I just hope I don't look what I weigh, which is actually quite impossible because I'm already quite a dinosaur.
Going back to school for PW, sigh! Let's hope we will be able to finish it! Just a little bit of editting here and there.. right? Haha, so convincing. Should I wear slippers?
Beauty&theBeast at night. Meeting the girls for dinner! Then we will see Noel on stage, maybe as the BEAST. Hahaha.
I am a cheenapok I just downloaded many Chinese songs. But I don't care I like (:
Have to do powerpoint for that China thingy. I will be allergic to powerpoints soon. Really.
Okay shit, my mum is bugging me to tidy my room because the doctor said my nose is super sensitive and she is convinced my room is piled with heaps of dust bunnies and what not. Selective hearing.

All the time I was crying, I was just trying to forget your name.

Sexy back is so addictive.

Yes, that was the only photo we took o.o And I had to look so insignificant in it! Nevermind, it's okay.. Anyway, we went to food junction for a budget meal, then Haagen Dazs for dessert (: Vanilla Caramel Brownie + Tiramisu + Roasted Almond, Cookie Crunch Toppings = Seventh Heaven :D and Guilt D: Something embarrassing happened on the train, I hope nobody noticed :X

Will go for my anti-flu jab tomorrow. Horrors :O I hate jabs but who loves them anyway? :/ Okay this is getting boring. Shall end soon chopchop. I don't even make sense now. Oh I am so amazed that Samuel actually messaged me to wish me good luck, and that Enli is taking her GSC paper only next year.

Sometimes even the most notorious people get misunderstood.

Hello hello! (: I like this template! I think Jessica used it before! Haha. Nevermind, now that she has her princess hours one which I think she's greatly loving it, I shall adopt this skin! Lol :D

Had this sudden impulse to want to go to a pub and like, sit down and chill. Not the boom boom music kind, that's a club. I want to go to the kind with live, soothing music, and an ambience that makes chilling out in good company a welcoming thought (: Only seem to be able to imagine doing that with Joy and Jessica though, or maybe the GSC lot. I don't know why. Maybe because whenever I'm with Joy we kinda share quite abit, and then also because of being used to the gatherings at the library every Monday and Thursday? Shrugs. Anyhow, yeah. it's all about preference!

Yesterday when I went out with my mum I finally faced the ugly fact that I am not suited for shades. Imagine my utter disappointment :O There goes my dream of vintage frames! Rahrah. Haha, I think my fashion style is trashy actually :/

Okays, it's eleven. Shall go study for GSC. I'm so last minute, as usual :X Oh yeah. My mum told me something that struck me. I was telling her that randomly about this friend of mine who's really smart, but ended up in ITE because of not working hard, possibly due to family matters and stuff, and a good example being that I had to eat all my books to get a lousy 250 for PSLE, while he could easily get the same aggregate with just barely flipping through. And then she said, since when have you really put in your 100% in studies. Maybe I was too busy trying to slack D:

It's 11.01AM!