okay la just updating so that this doesn't rot. life doesn't suck, but it doesn't mean it rocks either. i think my terms results are sucky like hell, but i guess that doesn't spell the end of my life yet. everyone's getting a tad more grumpy these days because of sucky terms results but venezia & a raisin scone always manage to put the smile back on our faces. maybe we'll all do fine for A's and see each other on stage IN THE END; i don't wna be the only one amongst the empty chairs still clapping for those on the stage! lofty aspirations, but i probably WILL still be one of those sitting down while the whole world's up on stage! what a loser. just musings and more musings; im surprised at how this entry seems so much longer than my previous ones. anyway just something random: there's this weird uncle in my neighbourhood who's, well, behaving quite weirdly that i'm super freaked out. maybe i should hire a bodyguard (s) to protect myself from his advances omgz. haha anyway it seems like the IN thing to add a z behind some random words and act half twit; i think im addicted to it alreadyz as you can see! when anyone sees this please keep me in your prayers i'll appreciate it alot alot alot! and you know these days i dont reply messages as often to those i usually will because, well, mood aint that good nowadays! but it's okay im still surviving and im waiting for the day i can be genuinely happy on sundays. (and maybe saturdays too) we are the reason is really nice, so is the christmas shoe song huizhen intro-ed to me. so heartwrenching.com! alrightos, that shall be all. i think my hair's grown a little it's not that fugly anymore yay! and i wna get those fats swimming in my body offffffff help.

at the cross i bow my knees.

i finally made it for service today. it was so good, so good. i had no idea how much i missed out until today; it was like feeling God's love all over again. during praise and worship i felt tears in my eyes, and then i remembered what pastor samuel (at huizhen's church) shared about tearing uncontrollably, and feeling loved when his brother told him to begin accepting Christ. God's love, amazing and great. it was a great reminder of how much He loves each and everyone of us. and then today's sermon was in ENGLISH, and i think that's probably why i could fully understand the whole thing. the call to trust, how we respond in difficult situations, the temptation to do things our way and not following His will, and how we can pray for him to show us the way, His will, His plans. and then it was great seeing all the familiar faces. familiar yet so foreign. qiwei lost so much weight! :DD it feels good hearing enwei's voice, may's laughter, seeing yuantying's smiles, songheng's sheepishness, and of course joses' act smart-ness. was surprised to see juin playing the guit but it was quite a pleasant one all the same, reeling me back to the lang hua yi duo duo days with the yewseng and ep. all the i-havent-seen-you-for-so-long hugs. thank you for the welcoming arms. even though i havent been in church for long, even though i may not be the easiest person to get along with, even though i may not be the nicest, even though this and that and many other stuff.

yyxz tomorrow! just makes everything so much better.

mediocre.

went to gabby's blog, saw no new updates but then i just slinked back into my chair and listened till all the songs were played. very comforting, very uplifting, i feel a whole lot better. so one way or another, thank you gabby. and -shakeshand! you did pretty good for your semester! gpa not bad ahh (:

going to huizhen's church tmr with qixin, for an outreach event i think. i wonder how it'll be like? shit HAIYARR. i just pissed my mum off again.

maybe to you i'm really flawed, really inadequate. haha if this speaks to more than the intended i suppose more people than i expected feels the same.

spread some love ♥

sing to me something so beautiful.

omgaaaaad it's thursday already. the holidays are ending soon! now im quite sad. i saw jiafa laoshi's mail about the prayer and praise thing BUT I CANT MAKE IT. even sadder. makes me miss yyxz (already) and church even more, all the singing and praising ): I HOPE I CAN GO THIS SUNDAY. sigh! and i think i'm slowly slipping in my studying schedule.

coffee bean staff are so rubbishy. (at least the westmall branch's one are)
and hanakimi is nice; i like to look at wu zun :D

sometimes when we're torn, we tend to make one choice the priority and the other, an option. okay i dont know what im talking about but i do hope someone gets my point, somehow.
byebye.

coming from the lips of an angel.

why oh why oh why.
AIYAR I DONT KNOW.

happy (advanced) birthday, uncle william! :DD

deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder.

my heart broke when i saw this!
it's really really sad.

you took a hammer to these walls
dragged the memories down the hall
packed your bags and walked away
there was nothing i could say

and when you slammed the front door shut
alot of others opened up
so did my eyes, so i could see
that you were never the best for me

emo.com ah.

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

i am very excited because i planned the food i'm gna eat for tmr and the day after :D
the cinnamon crossiant was kinda screwed; it makes me wonder if i should have just pretended i don't recognise the cashier, buy the muffin and run away.
i think i can go be a maid! i like to do groceries and i can do certain household chores. not very well, but i can learn. i can bake sub-standard stuff too! how's that for you.
my brother's room is filled with ants and it makes me feel queasy all over. eeeks DIRTAYE. and is there this smell or is it just my imagination?

a pleasant surprise, but no cheap thrill this time.

phones can be quite a bane to society.

your guardian angel.

use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and i know i'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray

i wish i could do so much more.

i guess we never really moved on.

yay i've got new songs in my ipoddy (: and i'm secretly addicted to the teriyaki boyz song shit even though i always pretend i'm cringing when clarice or shuwen sings it. each era of songs brings back a set of memories, but the happy/embarrassing ones usually offset the lousy ones D: reminiscence.

i said hello, but you kept on walking.

my kind of happy: good food, good food, good food, and some nice light exercise to top it all up (:

i didn't go to church today, but i guess it was kinda a fair exchange for some family time. we went to vivo to have lunch and walk around. it was quite a standard procedure thing, to lunch, (window)shop, coffee+food, walk around abit more, dinner at some nearby place. but today was really good, probably cos i really haven't gone shopping for such a LOOOOOONG time. my only regret is that i forgot to check out the pullovers at pull&bear TSK. but anyway no don't be mistaken i didnt return home with trucks of paperbags; it just makes me happy spotting nice stuff and knowing i haven't lost my love/touch for shopping (: anyway the cashier at gloria jean's coffee (smth like that) thought i said 'GAY' when i said 'JY' and so i had to respond to the staff at the collection point when he said, "gay?" o.o daaaaaamn.

going to vivo reminds me of alpha camp. how frozenflame went to the FERRY TERMINAL instead of WALKING to sentosa, how tying and i ran there, how juin came out impatiently to look for us only to see us on super low morale, how xibin laoshi said we should just have lunch at vivo, how we all had icecream on our way to vivo. so nostalgic! can't wait for alpha camp 2007 (:

i think i collected a number of weird stares today because i was wearing my YELLOW (pirated) little miss sunshine tee. they probably thought topshop launched some limited edition yellow tee after the PINK LITTLE MISS FUN tees have been sold out :O

march holidays! byebye sleep deprivation, hello late mornings!

i just wish there was so much more than that, about me&you.

chem spa, chem lesson one after the other; BRAIN-DEAD.
holland v crystal jade with joy and amy; i didn't get lost :D
cell; ate and ate and ate and stoned.
gym; the most satisfying one hour of the day (:

summary of my day! i don't wna go down to the nitty gritties haha. anyway, something that was touched on during cell group: mutual understanding. i just realised all the moaning and groaning and moping i've done recently was all quite immature. maybe we've just attained the level of mutual understanding (: it's okay we all learn!

qiwei: jieying im really proud of you cause although your life is nanhua-like
like mine, you are still willing to serve God so wholeheartedly.im happy for you
that God has given me such a happy and retarted senior that can babysit me and
(try) to tutor me.

sweet (:

von: this is a happy entry! :D

happy birthday margareth! :D

i think this template looks retarded but i wanted something clean, like desperately. so here goes! alright tmr i've chem spa. and i absolutely dread it. went out with ting to eat venezia (again!) cos bio lab was cancelled :D and came back in time for a great game of street bendy! SISTERHOOD haha. opened some old wounds and talked about last year and i hope i stitched those back tightly already. shrugs- william i think i cannot adhere to the HEALTHY DIET PLAN lah! it's always hard to resist a good talk over some icecream and scones D: ♥ gotta start studying for terms, as in like, mug. i can already think of the pending dates after terms maaaaan: more venezia icecream, some light retail therapy if possible, more good movies, tcc&neos with joy. okay let's try to get started with STUDYING for terms firstttt ): bye folks.

i'm so contemplating hopping over to livejournal because i'm getting QUITE frustrated with blogger :/

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you

Each one a line or two

"I'm fine baby, how are you?"

Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough

My words were cold and flat

And you deserve more than that

Thank God for you all, for making school so bearable.
Had a ball of a time talking to Michelle during squash, about Annabelle and LSE :DD
Discovered that the school's cold beancurd's quite nice!
Not bad I feel a little fitter today, squash is now full of running and receiving faster balls. Beats stagnating at home anyway.
Saw Gina banana and Joshua Leong in school! It feels kinda homey looking at them! Churchies cum juniors (:
I need to do some constructive work now, byebye.
Yay we have cell this week!
Today is Vivian Teh's birthday :D
We're all retarded beyond words.
Margareth came back today! Chatted a little with the sc5 juniors (:
Prayers work wonders.
Apples are probably the healthiest kind of fruit around.
I think it's become a ritual sorta thing, to clear my bowels after doing running during squash. HEH.
So many distractions during squash today. Good and bad. LSE! And some ______.
Noel ate a chocolate strawberry gummy that dropped on the void deck bench unknowingly.
They said Leone is trying to appeal out of RJ that's why he's not in school today. WTH.
My hair's so screweddddd.
Oh my gosh I just realised that I've got an unsealed bag of cornflakes and I think they're probably uncrispy now! ):
I get easily tired nowadays.
Okay I really need to go study before I fall asleep while reading about neurones and nerve impulses.
Did I mention that Saturday there's cell and I'm happy?
Tomorrow is early day (: 110!
This entry is super randomised but I'm too lazy to organise into relevant paragraphs.
I've an essay due on Friday.
Oh and Gabby, yes I do read your daily verses and it IS scary how some seem to strike me so accurately.

OKAY GTG

helloooo.
today is quite horrible, enough said.
but then i feel like ive alot to reflect on, after seeing von's bible and the tv guide thing, and gabby's verse-of-the-day thing.
and then the short conversation between me aiyun and ting.

raaaaaaaah.
the road ahead's a sudden sea.

I've had feelings like a thorn in my side.

♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEOTZELING (28Feb)
♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEESHAORONG (3 March)

The two of my many loves in my life haha. (I sound so fickle) I am happy tonight! Because I've finally figured out where I wanna go in life. And planned which course I wanna take if I ever do make it to the UNIVERSITY. (I'd better) People have been asking, and I never had a real answer nor interest in finding out, until recently when I found myself staring a little longer at those little booths of overseas universities in the walkway. But no, overseas studies cost a bomb and I'm not smart enough for a scholarship! Blah. So anyway my dream course for now will be..

Communications&Media!

Something along those lines, because I want to go into public relations next time. Qixin will I see you there too? I remembered how we did the career key thing during CME and had almost the same job matchings :DD

Maybe I should start talking to Miss Neeta more during GP so I can slowly become more eloquent and proficient in The English Language! And maybe to Mock Noel, too. He's a stupid shit but he's really good at blabbering English.

GP terms next Monday! SO FASTTTT :O

Maybe I'm not enough, maybe you're just too much.

So after a ride on the emotional roller-coaster, I'm permanently relieved. Freaking out together, using chocolates to fight that scary feeling, waiting for the result slips that never seem to come (because the teacher was ABIT slowww), and heart racing madly, eyes scrutinising at the result slip in the teacher's hand hoping the letter resembles that of an A. Thankful, that God's been watching over me (: Went to see the j3s collect results. Many army boys who just booked out walked into the hall. So cute it's like huge bags and green uniformmmm D: Oops I digressed. Yeah so anyway all the multiple distinction holders were up on stage, and it's quite insipring! I hope I can be on the stage next year too! Work hard work hard work hard. It's reassuring to see the smiles of those seniors that I saw and spoke to; it's almost like they made me think that the whole journey to A levels isn't that arduous after all. That fleeting moment of joy just offsets everything. BUT, we all know this feeling will fade by the time MONDAY comes zz.

On another note, I gulped alot alot of pu'er tea just now. Hopefully it's gonna help burn some fats away!

Jaded is the word.

Watched Hannibal Rising with Bert Rebecca Johnathan Gary. Rebecca and I were having random bouts of HIGHHHH. Maybe that explains why I was so high again while I was with May, waiting for Juin's parents after yyxz :O The movie's gory to the max, and the plot isn't that thick, but still, I think it's a movie worth catching! D: Reached home got kinda screwed by my parents; I think I'll have to stop going for yyxz already. Not so often anyway, because I don't think I can take it constantly churning out logical excuses while looking at them in their eyes. It feels sucky to the core. Is it weak to not continue fighting for it? Shrugs. It's like lying blatantly and when I think of how I've been doing it.. ohmygosh.

Getting back GSC results tomorrow! My heart's about to jump out.